Monthly Archives: November 2013

Light Cannot Exist Without Darkness

“Light cannot exist without darkness. Each has its purpose. And if there is a purpose to my darkness maybe it’s to bring some balance to the world…” Dexter

With my recent emotional release which many of you read on here, some insight from friends prompted me to write a post, because their words showed me how different the principles we live by are. Out of respect for my well intentioned friends I won’t be quoting any of those conversations. Rather, I will write about how my way of being with emotions,my “ugly side”, the “ugly side” of others and how it differs from what’s generally accepted by society. Most people see expressing anger, or sadness for the world to see to a great extent, a display of weakness and negativity. However, I was trained to see all emotions as equal and simply part of the human experience….If we were not meant to experience rage and sadness we would not have been given the ability to do so. The depth of ones “ugly” emotions is equally proportioned to their capacity for emotions of the opposite end of the spectrum, the laws of physics seem to apply to human emotion quite well. 

We are conditioned by society to not show our sadness and anger to the world, we are taught to hide behind the facade of smiles masking what’s beneath the surface. As children we’re told to not get angry and told to not cry and suck it up when sad. This way of being is what leads to adults who lack passion and are unable to experience the full range of emotions we were given the ability to. We could learn a lot by observing toddlers and animals, they become angry or sad and have their tantrums and after a while it passes and all is forgotten. On the other hand, human adults hold much of their emotions in because of how society judges “negative” emotions and this leads to people holding grudges and underlying negativity towards those who have crossed them for years and years. I choose to release my rage all in one big dose to get it out of my system as this is actually healthy and allows you to move forward. For example, with my ex bf I let out all my angst towards him in a sequence of angry e-mails telling him how I felt and then it was gone from my system for life, I became completely neutral towards him. 

For those who do not get their emotions out and take the stance of swallowing their pride and pain to pretend to be happy for the sake of looking good, I see them dealing with feelings from being cheated on and/or abandoned by a person 5-10 or even more years later. 

We don’t contain our happiness and joy and hide it from the world, so I don’t understand……why exactly do we have to hide our angst and pain? Those moments of happiness and joy would not exist without the rest. 

Life and Death

Yin and Yang

Peace and War

Light and Dark

We live in a world of duality where all things are meant to exist in balance, including our emotional responses. To live life fully this needs to be embraced and expressed with no holds barred. I will continue to share my angst and pain when it comes up, as well as my happiness joy and success in life, because that’s life and I live the entire spectrum to its fullest


The hours of darkness and light on earth exist in cycles of balance as do our internal cycles of light and dark.



All About Boobies

Most of you know I recently created a few paintings with the help of my boobs to do the painting and had the idea of hosting an art auction to raise funds in support of a local breast cancer organization.  I will get straight to the point and say, the event failed…

boobie art

However, the fact that my event didn’t turn out as I wished isn’t stopping me from still pursuing the idea further. In the past I would have taken this as ultimate failure and quit right there. I have taken it as a learning experience though, and feel I am better equipped to make this successful the next time around. I have learned that organizing a fundraising event takes FAR more promotion than you think, some form of incentive to attract people (lets face it, not a lot of people care about paintings, even if they were made with my boobs!) and better planning on what demographic I am going to target.

I put this event together in three weeks, one of those weeks I was sick with the flu and not able to do much. Next time around I will be investing 2-3 months into planning and promoting. The event will happen sometime in February as it’s a month where nothing much aside from Valentine’s day seems to happen.

I actually had a lot of fun putting this event together, I was so excited that part of my promotion included walking down the streets and stopping people to ask if they like boobs. Some of the reactions I got were hilarious, I generated a lot of interest and got people to verbally commit to attending…..I realized that people are busy though, and being so close to Halloween parties may not have been good timing. Even though the street was not an effective marketing tactic, I kind of want to do it again next time around just for fun.

Anyway, my point in writing this is, if you have something you REALLY want to do, don’t let some minor set backs completely stop you from trying again, keep going and it will eventually work out. My friend Anna reminded me I sought out to do what 90% of people don’t do…..and I would actually say given the fact I did something as out there as boob paintings, I did what 99.99% of people don’t do 🙂 lol